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<title>hell is cold and your lips are fire by lesbiansofkyoshi (ranpoandpoe)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25861867">hell is cold and your lips are fire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranpoandpoe/pseuds/lesbiansofkyoshi'>lesbiansofkyoshi (ranpoandpoe)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A:TLA Femslash Week 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ATLA Femslash Week, ATLA Femslash Week 2020, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Avatar Femslash Week, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Past Child Abuse, Religious Imagery &amp; Symbolism, ozai is a politician</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:20:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25861867</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranpoandpoe/pseuds/lesbiansofkyoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Under the neon lights of a nightclub, Azula understands.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azula/Suki (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A:TLA Femslash Week 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874047</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hell is cold and your lips are fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atlaworld/gifts">Atlaworld</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>atla femslash week - day 3: modern au</p>
<p>listen i'm a lesbian who thinks about religious symbolism way too much. also, trigger warning for abuse !!! i know its already in the fic tags but better safe than sorry</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You know I can’t do it,” Azula says, breathless. A drop of sweat starts running down her forehead as Suki gets closer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I actually don’t, princess.” She gets closer of the closeted daughter of the mayor who has goosebumps on her arms due to the contact. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No one can know. I shouldn’t even be here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But you are. Why is that?” The lights are flashing, Suki’s skin attractively reddish. “You want this too much to stop, don’t you? You could lose everything, but risking it all in exquisite pleasure is the fun of it.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Even with so many lights, it’s still dark and Suki can still see the flame in Azula’s eyes. Passionate and the familiar desire to risk it all. She knows it too well. If the secret goes out, she’d be exiled, just like her brother. Zuko, stupid enough to be seen kissing a boy. Azula’s never heard of him again, her older brother who certainly is walking around somewhere with an enormous scar in his face, caused by Ozai’s cigarette. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Azula won’t have the same destiny, she tells herself. She’s smarter than her naive brother: the crystal of the family, a genius. She can fight her urges and her desire and her… </span>
  <em>
    <span>yearning. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Or so she thought. Because it’s easier to avoid a mistake in theory than when it’s staring at you in the eye, make-up on and a short red dress.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know you want to, Azula,” Suki’s voice is a whisper in her ear, her body being Eve’s apple, except that she isn’t in paradise. Or maybe she is, and the hellish heat is safer than the innocent angels she’s obligated to be amongst. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I do.” Azula says, because Suki’s lips are so red and it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>hot there. She feels the flames burning all around, but she doesn’t mind. It even feels safe. She then presses her lips in the other girl’s, with so much strength and confidence, even though she doesn’t have any. Azula’s insecure, but she knows that’s worth going to hell for. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Flashbacks are playing in her head, excerpts from dreams she never forgets. Herself hiding behind the door as her father, so covered by fury that he seemed more like the devil than the illuminated and fair god, takes the cigarette out of his mouth and burns Zuko’s face. She watches the scene and will never admit that she’s still in awe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s obvious that Zuko was feeling pain, but he didn't scream. He just stood there, burning, proudly. The scene haunts Azula’s dreams for years, but she sees herself in her brother’s place. She screams as her whole world is shattered by the fire and the smoke in her father’s hand, and as her lips touch Suki’s, burning hot, she understands. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s about freedom. Azula puts her hand on Suki’s neck and plays with the girl’s hair. There’s a drop of something in her forehead, and it’s unknown if it’s sweat or tears. Not that it matters. The heat and the pain are alike, both are equal, and Azula’s ready to face them. The world is burning and nothing matters except... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Freedom. You only acquire it after tragedy. When you’re in hell and nothing else matters, because you don’t have anything else to lose. The surroundings are burning, inside and outside her body. The kiss is intense, just like Azula’s dreamed all these years. Suki’s hands on her waist, her lips on her own, their bodies almost becoming one, the fire erasing everyone else’s existence, because no one else matters.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s hot and Azula can barely breathe, but she likes it. Fire sparks and it’s warm, heartwarming. The heat is comforting, like a hot bath after a long day. In this case, a long life. During that night, she faces the raw truth: hell is cold; it’s the cold stare of her father, disapproving of everything, because nothing ever is enough, but one should fear being the witch burning in the fire, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>“queer” </span>
  </em>
  <span>burning in the fire, the ashes of those who don’t fit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He needs her to think that desire and pleasure are fearsome, but Azula no longer does, she no longer can, because how can she be afraid of the hot fire if hell is cold?</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i hope this was enjoyable?? dykes n other gays fell free to follow me on twitter as @yukisayochisas btw</p></blockquote></div></div>
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